Relational Youth Ministry

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In the work I do I often get the privilege of chattering to young people about public speaking. Some might say that I am an accomplished public speaker, and I certainly have had heaps of experience and enjoy myself - albeit I am still learning and regularly attend my local Toastmaster group.

But - the point is, young people get more nervous when they think of talking before a larger crowd - a year level assembly at school for example.

BUT - as Adam McLane points out - size does matter:

Some people are geared for large groups. They just are. I’ve been in youth ministry long enough to know that I am most comfortable doing a talk when there are 30-250 students. I can’t really explain it but I tend to get more nervous leading a small group of 4-5 than when there are bucket loads. So in that case size matters to me.

For me, I love any size, but one thing is for sure - the smaller the crowd the harder the gig.

Nicki raises some interesting concepts in her response to something she heard. What I find fascinating is how [in my opinion] she gets it SO right and SO wrong both in the same sentence!

Any youth ministry statement must include the role of parents and any youth minister must purely exist to assist Christian parents in the evangelisation and discipleship of their children.

Could not agree more - youth ministry MUST involve parents as they are the key people in the lives of the young people we serve.

BUT can’t agree that youth ministers ‘purely exist’ to do as she says. The role of youth minister is much broader, deeper and higher than just that. Yes, it should include that - but what about non-church kids? what about dysfunctional families? what about disinterested parents? Should the young people suffer from our ‘pure’ motives as we pass them by on the other side of the street?

and yes, I admit, I am stirring the pot!

I am unsure as to how accurate the self appraisal is that I have read on Filter Through Life - it is certainly frank, open and straight shooting [and I am not saying it is true or untrue but rather I know we can sometimes be our worst critic].

Our goal: To lead teenagers to Christ and teach them that they are not the FUTURE of the church, they are a vital and functional part of the body of Christ TODAY!

But I can’t argue with that goal - great stuff!

A blogger named ‘Braindead’ tells a story about peer pressure [yet another party while parents are away story]. He /she said:

Peer pressure is an enormously powerful influence that most young people need to contend with. It is responsible for many young people mindlessly going along with the crowd and not thinking for themselves leading them to start smoking, drinking, experimenting with drugs and sex and more.

I am not at all disagreeing with him/her - although I would say that peer pressure isn’t restricted to young people - what peer pressures do you face?

Andy W asks us to think about which young people have impacted us [as opposed to those we have impacted] - great question! I think I have heaps - here’s a couple:

Dave - he changed me from a program based youthworker to a relational one with his openness in answering my questions. I still remember the conversation 15 years later.

Adam - even though we met in prison [don't worry I was a chaplain!] he impacted my life through his servant attitude and his untypical way of life. Helps me to not pre-judge anyone - thanks Ad.

Tell us yours - comment below

Just when I thought there was nothing left to be surveyed - I cam across this:

Survey: Why Young People Don’t Choose Fish
NORWAY - Seafood is healthy so why don’t young adults living alone buy and eat fish? What needs to be done to encourage families with young children to eat more fish ? These are just some of the questions Nofima is aiming to address.

Some people have money to throw away!

I have just read a post entitled Church Reform - Youth Ministry and it kind of made me mad. I got mad on 2 main counts but I am not sure whether I should be a polite Christian, smile sweetly and move on OR to take the post [and by implication] the writer to task. Maybe if I do it in the interest of debate and open discussion - would that be OK?

Eric basically is saying that youth ministry isn’t Biblical and even when it is done it isn’t done very effectively or biblically.

My ‘beef’ number 1 is that an obvious point seems to be unobvious - and that is the Bible was written primarily for a 1st century group of people. There is no mention of youth ministry because adolescence hadn’t been created back then. The word teenager was created by marketers in the 1950’s so it won’t appear in a KJV concordance. The world is a totally different place now than it was in A.D. 100.

I agree the primary place a child should be taught is in the home - but what of those inquiring students who’s parents aren’t believers?

My second ‘beef’ is that Eric seems to believe that youth ministry, world wide, is based on pizza and not the Bible. Maybe he needs to get out more and visit other youth ministries. Sure we have pizza but there is a lot more to it than that.

</rant> Sits down in quiet corner - deep breaths.

Personal note to Eric: I didn’t mean to offend and apologise if I did so - your comments just got me going.

Today was my first encounter with Hamo [not that I could be vaguely considered his friend and he has probably never heard of me!] - but he wrote a provocative post called the failure of youth ministry - provocative title wouldn’t you say?

Upon investigation he is challenging the hype of youth ministry and the need to get the youth pumped up - and is suggesting that it is in discipleship that lives are changed. I would certainly agree with that.

A short time ago I was in a room with over 300 young people and they were pumped. I guess for me the question is: can we pump them up but still work hard at the relational side? Does the relational aspect of ministry also need the group dynamic of the large crowd of young people, pumped up and on fire for God? Are they mutually exclusive?

I think they can co-exist but I believe one is more essential than the other.

Just my couple of cents.

Wherever you turn there is someone doing research - maybe I will try and do some, it seems it’s the way to go.

They do it all over the world too it appears. In Germany they have done a survey of young people and their media habits. I like this statement:

The young don’t read newspapers but, well, they do pick up free newspapers. They’ve traded radios for iPods but haven’t turned off the radio. They’ve gone mobile. They’ve gone to FaceBook. They congregate, agitate, separate and confound.

But I am not at all keen on this one:

Young persons are constantly searching for new impulses and they experiment with innovative, multi-sensual media

Of course the reason I am not so keen on the second one is that it can create pressure for me and my youth ministry. How do I meet their apparent need for new impulses, where do I allow their desire to experiment in my weekly activities?

Of course, at times like these, I play the relationship card’ [which I believe has validity], where I say that the relationship I [and my team][ have with young people far outweighs these media survey results. Sure they may want to innovate and experiment - but deep down we all crave acceptance and that is shown through relationship.

I just hope it will be strong enough to keep them!

Dan gives a great summary of a seminar on ‘Using Sport to Reach Young People’

Overall the seminar looks great, although I do wonder about one of the quotes that Dan recorded:

‘Sport offers the body of Christ the greatest opportunity to reach the largest amount of people in the shortest space of time’.

For me that made me muse a moment, and whilst I can’t think of a counter argument - for example a better opportunity [although in my country mission in high school would beat sport hands down - where else do you get presented with hundreds of young people and them be required to listen!].

And, of course, as youth workers we also need to remember that there are many non-sporty young people, so we must always do sports ministry as one of many ministries [but you knew that didn't you?]